he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
