A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
