she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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