I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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