i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
