my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
In America we eat man semen.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
