To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
