dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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