So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
