they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
