Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
