Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize