I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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