sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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