I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
FUCK WHALES
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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