I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
