too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
