called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
