He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
