maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
