I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
