You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
