Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
