The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
