i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
