Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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