You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
