You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
