i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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