it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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