why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
