The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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