yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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