Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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