I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She's the barista slut.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
