Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I AM VODKA MAN
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
