Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
