What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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