The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
