the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
