like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
