Where did you get a picture of my penis
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
