I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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