Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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