Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
How's work?
Spinning.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
