His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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