I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
