franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I came so hard my ears popped.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
