She said her name was "party"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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