and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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