Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize