Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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