I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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