Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
