my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize