i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
