All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
