I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
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I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
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I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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