I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found puke in my bra..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
