did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
