Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
