I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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